Welcome to “The Pause!” Every Wednesday (if I can find women of a certain age who are willing to share their experience with me and you) there will be a new post.
Why am I doing this? Well, I’m almost 50 and I would REALLY like to feel less alone in this new chapter of my life. I feel like our culture doesn’t want to talk about menopause. It’s like if you admit that your period has stopped, you are admitting to something shameful or unnatural. Like death, menopause is both inevitable (if you’re lucky enough to grow older) and pretty darn natural. I used to think it was hard to get people to talk about death, but you can double that hesitancy when it comes to chatting about “THE CHANGE!”
If you read the first post, I am now on a quest to find media representations of a menopausal woman. Here’s this week’s clip. It’s from the movie, Sex and the City 2. If you know of any story lines in movies or television shows that address this major transition in a woman’s life without making it a punchline, leave it in the comments!
So, before we begin our chat, let’s define perimenopause and menopause from Merriam Webster’s online dictionary.
Definition of menopause
1: the natural cessation of menstruation that usually occurs between the ages of 45 and 55 also : the period during which such cessation occurs
— called also climacteric
— compare PERIMENOPAUSE
2: cessation of menstruation from other than natural causes
Definition of perimenopause
: the period around the onset of menopause that is often marked by various physical signs (such as hot flashes and menstrual irregularity)
So now that that’s clear, here’s my next willing participant, all the way from across the pond in the UK, author Betsy Price!
1. Do you remember your mother or an older woman in your family going through “the change of life?” If so, what was that like?
Yes, my mother went through the change quite early, at around forty-five. The main thing I remember was her having to stand in a cold shower to relieve itchy skin.
2. Was perimenopause/menopause ever discussed with you by your mother, sister, friend, or a doctor? If so, what did that discussion entail?
Only briefly. But I have a large friendship group spanning a ten year age range so it was a subject we'd often discuss over wine.
3. Was menopause something you feared or something you looked forward to? (Yay, no more periods! Boo, I’m drowning in my own sweat!)
Ha! No, I didn't fear menopause, probably because I wasn't raised to fear it and because I'd written a book about it, therefore was very informed on what to expect. But many women do fear it and I think that's because there's still so much stigma surrounding this time of life. There's also a lot of conflicting information out there on health choices, which can be daunting.
4. What was your experience like? Did you burst into flames? Grow a mustache? Gain a ton of weight? Lose your hair? Lose your mind? Or was it easy peasy, Tampax can kiss my vageasy?
So far, so good. I'm coming up to two years since my last period. In the perimenopausal era there was a lot of bed cover wafting at night and my memory is still truly awful, but I've read that it should improve - for a short time at least!
5. When did you first notice perimenopausal symptoms? Or did you not know what they were?
That's an interesting question. I first suffered with night sweats at the age of forty-one. I went to the doctors and she diagnosed perimenopause and offered HRT, which I declined. I was having other health problems and so sought the help of a holistic practitioner who tracked my symptoms back to when I'd had a root canal. I found a holistic dentist who removed the root canalled tooth and most of my symptoms disappeared overnight.
I'd started to research menopause at this point and how our overall health can have such an impact on our hormones. when I started having perimenopause symptoms again, at around the age of forty-seven, I felt more prepared. Knowledge is power.
6. Is there anything you wish you had known before you went through perimenopause/menopause?Anything you would have done differently?
Personally, I think a combination of knowledge, good friends who talk openly and the ability to laugh shit off has worked wonders!
And now, Betsy, let’s talk about your book! Tell me about it.
The book, Overgrown, actually started as a short story from a writing assignment on my university course about six years ago. The assignment was to write about a subject we felt was often overlooked in fiction. Because I'd been researching menopause, I chose this subject and a protagonist who lived in fear of it. It was never intended to become a novel but the more women I spoke to, the more Eliza's character formed and I kept adding to her story. About three years ago I made a decision to get on with it and turn it into a proper novel.
What did you have planned for your book launch?
Another great question. Lots of things: parties, book tours etc. But along came a pandemic so I made do with social media posts and word of mouth! The paperback edition of Overgrown in currently ranking at #1 in the Menopause category on Amazon U.K. so I am indebted to all of the wonderful women who bought and reviewed the book.
You can follow Betsy Price on these social media channels…
https://www.facebook.com/betsypricebooks
https://twitter.com/betsypricebooks
https://www.instagram.com/betsypricebooks
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Betsy. And you can too! Just reach out via my contact page. If you want me to reach out to you and help me do my little part to help save the USPS. I bought a TON of stamps and if you sign up for my newsletter, I will send you some swag (stickers, bookmarks and if you pre-order my book, I’ll send you a cute little button!!) from my debut novel Forever 51. (It’s about an eternally menopausal vampire.)