Me.
I was supposed to interview someone else, someone way more fabulous, but I'm afraid you're stuck with me today. My name is Pamela Skjolsvik and I write. I'm not on the NYT's best seller list. In fact, I have a fairly slim publishing history. And you know what? That's okay. I keep putting myself out there because a.) I'm very persistent and b.) my sensitive, thin writer skin is now becoming thick and calloused. In fact, I laugh at the cool calculated form letters of rejection. Ha!
So anyway, in the past month, most of my writer brain cells have been focused on this blog. I discovered through the A-Z challenge that I kind of like this blogging thing. It's casual. There's no pressure. I don't feel like I have to be smart or profound or have a terrific narrative arc. I just get to be me and connect with people. And sometimes what ends up on this blog means something to someone and let me tell you, that is a WONDERFUL feeling.
But in the past week, things have changed. I sent out my book proposal to an agent and she was kind enough to read it and give me some pointers about how to make it better. So, now I've got to write like my life depends on it and what am I doing? I'm writing this blog. Why?
Because I'm afraid.
I'm afraid that I'm not good enough.
Or smart enough.
And that people won't like me.
FEAR. It is a total and complete bitch. Up until the age of 38, my fear of social situations and meeting new people prevented me from actually living my life. It took going to grad school in a mid-life crisis moment of "what am I going to be when I grow up?" to finally start living. But I had to look at death to do that. Funny how that worked. Oh, and I also went to therapy after that whole death trip. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is wonderful if you're afraid to walk into a party and not be a wine swilling dip clinger. (and yes, wine swilling dip clinger just popped out of my head and I ran with it. Say it three times fast!)
So, next week, I'll have my regularly scheduled writer on here. I will have my proposal done or pretty close to being done. And I will kick fear's ass to the curb. Kinda like Ripley in the power loader.
So, what are you doing this week? Going to the beach? Reading a good book? Fighting aliens in your mind? Tell me.