An Interview with a Reiki Practitioner and CPR Instructor

Today I am talking with Betty Barnes, an 11-year breast cancer survivor, American Heart Association BLS CPR Instructor, Registered Karuna Reiki Master/Teacher and full-time RVer. She shares life on the road with her husband Dave and their dog Maggie. Betty is currently writing “her story,” which she describes as an inspirational memoir of her journey through darkness and into the light of Life.

DW: What made you want to teach CPR?
BB: Like Reiki, CPR is easy to learn and perform, and a skill I believe everyone should have. Combining this philosophy with my passion for teaching, pursuing certification as an instructor seemed a natural progression.

DW: Have you ever had to administer CPR in real life?
BB: No, but I came within seconds of having to do so shortly after my initial certification in the 1980s. When I arrived on the scene, paramedics were already in place.

DW: Did you have experience with death prior to making that decision?
BB: Death has visited family, friends and pets throughout my life. Death becomes a companion the moment you are told, “You have cancer.” Because of my personal experiences, hospice training and Reiki work, family and friends turn to me when presented with the passing of someone in their lives. If I can help, I am honored and humbled.

DW: You said that you went through hospice training. Can you tell me a little bit about your experience with that?
BB: I feel hospice training should be required for everyone. Some people cannot even say the word “death” or “dying.” Hospice training addressed ministering to the physical body of the dying as well as their spirit. Classes were interlaced with compassion, respect, love and laughter. I was allowed to give a presentation on Reiki as it relates in situations of death and dying.

DW: What is Reiki and how does it relate to hospice?
BB: Reiki (pronounced “ray-kee”) can be described as a method of stress reduction and relaxation which promotes overall well-being utilizing the universal energy which is in every living thing and surrounds us all. It is a noninvasive alternative therapy widely utilized in hospitals, pain clinics, cancer centers, hospices, etc. Reiki is performed hands-on or in the person's energy field. Clients lie on a massage/Reiki table, fully clothed, reporting sensations of warmth from the practitioner's hands, relaxation and peacefulness. Reiki on oneself is empowering for those with chronic illnesses and during cancer treatment.
Reiki it is not a religion.
Legitimate Reiki practitioners are professionals adhering to a strict code of ethics.
Reiki is not a substitute for conventional medical therapy.

When others may shy away from touching a dying person, the Reiki practitioner can minister to the dying with the simple act of holding their hand. One of Reiki's beauties is being independent of touch should the patient's condition preclude this due to pain or wounds. The intent is to help ease the suffering of the dying and all those involved. A Reiki person's presence lends an atmosphere of peace and calm. Reiki relaxes, and relaxation tends toopen heart, mind, soul . . . and mouth. Imminent death often prompts the need to unburden, perhaps sharing things not meant for the ears of loved ones; enter the Reiki practitioner as listener.

Thanks Betty for sharing what you do with my readers.  If you click on the links, folks, you can check out Betty's writing, reiki practice and her CPR classes!

Has anyone done hospice training?  I did it in Colorado and it was wonderful.  I'd like to get back into it here in TX.

Tuesday Movie: Hereafter

I loved this movie and I wished I'd seen it in the theater, instead of on my pathetic excuse for a television.  Clint Eastwood directs and Matt Damon stars in this film that is all about death and as the name suggests, the hereafter.  Yeah, it's a little on the "woo woo" side, but I tend to go for that kind of stuff.  I've met many a psychic in my years and yeah, some of them are full of generalities (among other things), but I've met a select few who have been super spot on and specific.

My uncle is psychic and Matt Damon's character reminded me of his story.  Both my uncle and Matt Damon's character view their gift as a curse.  While there are many who are desperate to know their future and seek out psychics, there are those that are repelled by those who can "see" things.

So, have you seen it?  Do you believe in the ability to predict the future?  How about fate?  Have you ever met someone and felt like you knew them?

Monday Mournings: The Death of a Child

My name is Elizabeth vonTauffkirchen and I’m often called Liz or Lisa by my friends. Since 2006, I’ve worked at the Lavenia McCoy Public Library in Bayfield, Colorado. I am Head of Children’s Services and IT.

DW: Who was the person that died?

Elizabeth: We lost our firstborn child: a daughter named Julia.

DW: How old were you at the time?

Elizabeth: I’m really not sure why this is relevant but I was 30ish.

DW: How old was Julia when she died?

Elizabeth: Julia was eight and a half months old.

DW: Was it a sudden death or did you know it was going to happen?

Elizabeth: Well, this is a complicated question. Julia was born with Apert’s Syndrome which is extremely rare (about 1 in every 180,000 live births). Apert’s Syndrome brings with it some physical differences, including mitten-hand syndactyly (the fingers are fused together, the thumbs separate) and craniosynostosis (premature fusing of the cranial plates). Sometimes, but not always, Apert’s is accompanied by more serious issues like kidney problems (which Julia did not have) and heart problems (which she did). Although Apert’s does require multiple surgeries, it is rarely fatal.

Julia’s heart condition was known as Tetralogy of Fallot with pulmonary stenosis. The Tetralogy of Fallot was apparently fixable and the pulmonary stenosis turned out to not be. Julia developed congestive heart failure. We flew her to Denver and had emergency heart surgery 9this was her second heart surgery). The surgery seemed to be successful. At 4am the next morning, Julia went into ventricular fibrillation and cardiac arrest. The CICU nurses kept her alive through CPR and were able to stabilize her. Julia never regained consciousness. After more than a week, the neurologist came to us with the information that she had no brain activity and we made the impossible decision to discontinue life support.

DW: Had you experienced any other deaths in your personal life before Julia?
Elizabeth: Just after high school, one of my best friends died from complications of a bone marrow transplant. This was exceptionally hard for me because until then I had only lost elderly relatives. Ryan (my friend who died) was the first time I had lost someone young and close to me.

DW: Were people supportive of your grief or did they shy away when you were grieving?

Elizabeth: People were overwhelmingly supportive of me and my husband when we lost our daughter. I was moved and shocked when St. Mark’s Church (our parish in Durango) was completely packed for my daughter’s funeral. I mean a baby funeral? Could there be anything sadder? But our friends turned out in droves. So many people came, I was truly touched.

There were those who avoided us after her death. I don’t blame these people. I understand the fear: the fear of death, the fear of the unknown, the horror of even contemplating the loss of a child.

There were also those who avoided us after she was born, because of her physical differences. I don’t blame these people either. I used to be one of them. I was never comfortable around those with physical differences. I just didn’t understand. Now I do.

DW: Is there anything you wish you'd done differently with Julia?

Elizabeth: Obviously, I wish I would have recognized her congestive heart failure earlier. I did take her to multiple doctors (she had an average of three appointments a week and I took her more often in the end). However, in retrospect I realize if the pediatric cardiologist didn’t recognize the heart failure it is unlikely I could have.

DW: Was she buried or cremated?

Elizabeth: Julia was cremated.

DW: Did you learn anything about the grieving process that you'd like to share?

Elizabeth: I attended a hospice group through Mercy led by Norm Gottlieb that was fantastic. Although it was difficult to attend at times, and some weeks I couldn’t bring myself to go, it was tremendously helpful with the process. The hospice group also helped me feel less alone.

DW: Last but not least, were any songs played at the memorial that you'd like to share?

Elizabeth: Julia was too little to have any favorite songs, although she did love music. I sang a few songs to her of my own creation that seemed to be pleasing to her. We sang Amazing Grace at her funeral. You are My Sunshine always reminds me of her and makes me cry to this day.