T is for...


Okay, so we've already established on this blog that every single one of us is going to die.  We've covered burial and cremation and what we want to happen when that someday happens.  But here's the deal, you can have your totally awesome funeral all planned out in your head, or the fact that you want to die in the comfort of your own home there too, but if no one knows about it, how is that going to happen?  This is where trust comes in.  Who do you trust to take care of all the details at the end of your life?  More importantly, does this person know that they have been entrusted with this responsibility?

Never assume that another person knows how you'd like to be cared for at the end of your life. I want you to be brave. It all starts with a conversation.  It could be with your spouse, your partner, your bff, your sister, your brother, your child.  You get the point.  It could go like this...

You:  So, I've been reading this blog called the death writer and she
thinks it's important to think about the end of my life.  And I think she
may be right, even though it's kind of morbid.

Your (_______):  Oh, yeah?

You:  Well, I downloaded a form that is fairly specific about what
I want to happen if I should be incapacitated and unable to make
decisions on my own.  I think you're really cool and smart and I trust
you a lot.  Would you be my agent?

Your (________):  Uh, sure.  Can I see the form?

You:  Sure.  Here it is.  We just have to get it signed by two witnesses.
In case you are unable to do this, I've also picked ________ to 
be an alternate.

Your (__________):  Really?  You picked_________? They have
horrible fashion sense.

You:  I know, but they've got a good heart.  Hey, you wanna go
see a movie?

Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy!!!

So where you can get these forms?
Click on the links, peeps.

Death with Dignity is a great place to start.  They have a lot of research about end of life issues.  And here you can access a free Advance Directive for your state.  For a more specific account of what you want to happen as far as care at the end of your life, check out Five Wishes.  Be aware that this document is not legal in all 50 states, but their website is a great resource to check out.

Another thing to think about is a will.  You know, so you can dole out your vast fortune to all your friends and relatives  or even your dog when you die.  Don't think your kids aren't going to fight over who gets what, even if it's like a 40 year old television set.  And if you've got serious assets, you really need a will.  You can read about Leona Helmsley's unusual will here.

Well, kids, I hope you learned something today.  I also hope you have someone in your life that you can trust.
Hey, and if you liked this post, share it.  

S is for...

SAYING GOODBYE


I've only know three people who have died.  The first person was my grandmother.  When she went to the hospital with advanced leukemia, I wasn't allowed to go visit because of my age. I never got to say goodbye to her.  The other two were Khristian Oliver and Larry Matthew Puckett.  These two men both knew the exact date and approximate time of their deaths because they were executed by the state of Texas and the state of Mississippi. I met Khristian Oliver the day before the state of Texas executed him.  The next day, I went to tell him goodbye and I was at a loss for words.  I wrote an essay about him called Surrender, which was published in Ten Spurs, but you can read about my experience here on Smith Magazine's, The Moment.
With Matt Puckett, I had to say goodbye in a letter, which was rather difficult to compose.

I had a conversation via Twitter with a fellow A to Z challenge participant about social media and grieving.  I think we both agreed that it is useful when a public figure such as a musician dies so that their fans can share memories and console each other, but I can't help but think about sites such as Facebook when the loss is personal.  There's an interesting article from Time about grieving and Facebook.

And here's another interesting article about what happens when you die (simmer down now) on your social media accounts after you die.

What do you think about Facebook and grieving?  Do you think it's cool for someone to post "My mom just died" or "I have three months to live."  Should these things be kept off social media?  Tell me your thoughts...

And the winner is...

We are now taking a break from our regularly scheduled A to Z program to award the prize from yesterday's post.
So, I put everyone's name who commented on a tiny piece of paper.  If you follow me, you got an extra piece of paper.  Then I put them in a hat.  It's a Spiderman hat.  It's special.

Then my son mixed them up really well.

And then he pulled out a name...

And the winner is

Thanks to everyone who commented and followed.  I think you're the bee's knees!