Matt Puckett

"Hope is the worst of evils, as it prolongs the torment of man."

Friedrich Nietzsche

I have been thinking a lot about Matt Puckett during the past month as he is scheduled to be executed by the state of Mississippi tomorrow, March 20, 2012.  He has been my pen pal for a couple of years.  His spiritual adviser asked me if I'd write to him since Matt liked to write.  I'm no Stephen King, but I've had a few pieces published and I'm writing about the death penalty, so I agreed.  Matt sent me his writing and I broke out a red pen and told him what I thought he needed to do to make his words come alive.  I am not an editor by any means, but with Matt, I got to put that hat on for a little while and see what it felt like. Unlike me, Matt wasn't afraid of editorial comments and suggestions.  He was thirsty for knowledge and liked a challenge.  My favorite thing he ever wrote was when I told him to write an essay that started with the line, "It was another gritty Maxwell House morning."  This was after he admitted to me in one of his earlier letters that he ate instant coffee to stay awake.

What I liked about Matt was his determination.  He wasn't going to let his environment bring him down.  Prison tends to do that to a person.  But, Matt rose above it.  He read.  He wrote.  He made it a mission to learn a new word each day and use it.  He was curious about the world and he liked to discuss things.  He had so many pen pals that he communicated with on a daily basis that it astounded me.  He started a prison library so that everyone could read books, which he felt were important.  The last book he read was "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks."  I loved that book and I was so pleased that he was able to read it. I told him to look on the dedication page for one of my mentor's names, Diana Hume George.  I think he got a kick out of the fact that I had a distant connection to the much better, more famous writer, Rebecca Skloot.  But he was stuck with me.

I asked the "Sun Magazine" to send him a subscription, as they will do that free of charge to the incarcerated, in the hopes that he would submit something to them.  I don't know if he ever did.  He does have some essays out there on the internet.

His family and everyone who has had a relationship with him is in a very bad position right now.  The machinery of death is in motion and there is little to stop it.  I've been in this position before with Khristian Oliver and no matter how many times you call the Governor's office, there is nothing to do but sit and wait and watch and worry.  It's the most surreal experience ever.  Matt Puckett knows that there's a very real chance that he will die on that gurney tomorrow at approximately 6pm.

In my last letter to him, I sent him an essay about hope.  We'd discussed hope, whether it was a good or a bad thing for someone in his predicament.  When you really think about it, what's more healthy?  Preparing for our exit or clinging to a shred of hope?  Can you have both? I don't know.  I've never been there.

But, I'm not going to lie or sugarcoat the truth of my feelings.  Since I've grown to know him, I empathize with him for the emotional torment he is going through right now in Unit 17 at Parchman.  I can't imagine what that's like.  I hope that he's finding some semblance of peace tonight.  And if he has to take that walk tomorrow, I hope that he does it without fear.

Bitter Party of One, Your Table's Ready

My husband deleted, or should I say deactivated, his facebook account today.  I noticed his absence this morning when I looked at where it said “married to.” His picture was gone, along with his name. Now it just says I’m married.  To whom?  Only I know for sure, but I assure you that we are still very much married.

Erik and I have both had a love/hate relationship with Facebook.  I got sucked in my first semester of grad school in 2008.  It seemed like all the cool kids were doing it and I didn’t want to feel left out like a teetotaler at a keg party. And to take this keg party metaphor one step further, I got drunk on Facebook after my first sip of foam.  I wanted to be friends with anyone that would claim me, even people I didn’t particularly like that much.  In real life, I’m a little more discretionary with my friendship, but on the world wild web, I was a slut.

In 2009, Erik joined the party while I was away at school.  He missed me.  And if you thought I was a slut, you should have seen Erik after his first few sips of inst-a-matic friend connection.  He accumulated over 600 friends in a matter of months.  It didn’t matter that maybe their only connection was sitting in the same class in 1985—they were friends—a motley mix of the past, the present, people he worked with, people he didn’t know and about 200 people he “met” playing Viking Clan.

But then one day, I scrolled through my husband’s list of new found friends and discovered a few of his ex-girlfriends in the mix.  Yes, I'll admit, I've searched for a few old flames, but I did not find discovering these ladies on my husband's friend page particularly fun. Because of my imaginative (okay, some might say neurotic or maybe paranoid) nature, it made me question the reality of facebook, of friendship, of life.  I know, heavy.  Right?

So, I started culling the masses.  I cut.  I cut some more.  But then I was told that as a writer I had to have lots of friends.  You know, friends to sell that book to when and if it ever came out.  Well, guess what?  Facebook is the biggest distraction from writing that book that I have ever encountered.  I can’t seem to pull myself away from the party. I want to see the pictures and the status updates and the witty quotes and the Farmville acquisitions.  Okay, I lied about that last one.  I could care less about Farmville.

To be honest, Facebook allows me too much information about the people I know, even about the people I don’t know.  I know their religious beliefs.  I know which political candidates they like or don’t like.  I know which TV shows they watch, what movie they just saw, if they have a migraine, if their child is potty trained, if their dog is depressed, if they are in love or merely in a state of complication. 

What I don’t know is if I can function without it.  Erik is the test case and if he can boldly go forth without friends liking his every move, I may decide to join that party.

What Would Jesus Do?

On November 5, 2009, I was in Livingston, TX to meet with Khristian Oliver on the day of his execution.  That morning, Khristian's spiritual adviser asked if I'd communicate with another man on death row in Mississippi.  He told me that Matt liked to write and would really enjoy communicating with a writer. After my life altering experience with Mr. Oliver, I agreed to do so, but with a great amount of hesitation.  Not because Matt was on death row charged with murder, but because I knew he would probably be dead within a year or two.  It is very difficult to start a relationship with someone when you know that there is a very definite expiration date on their life.  Ask any hospice worker.
So, I wrote Matt a letter.  He sent me his essays for critique.  We talked books. He told me about his life on the row in Mississippi.  He wrote essays about each of the twelve men that have been executed at Parchman while he's been there.  He wrote me one letter per month, as he communicated with a lot of people.  In the past few months, his letters stopped.  I thought maybe I'd said something that made him mad, as I can be fairly blunt about things.  At Christmas, he sent me a card to apologize for his lack of communication.  His appeal with the Supreme Court was coming up and it would determine his fate.  If you would like to see how a death row case is tried, watch the above clip from David Dow.

Mr. Puckett received an execution date at the beginning of this month--March 20, 2012.  His family and friends started a petition that will be presented to the newly elected Governor of Mississippi in a few days.  They are asking that Matt's sentence be commuted to life without the possibility of parole. If you feel like contacting Governor Bryant to express your opinion, you can contact him here.

March 20 is thirteen days away.  I'm trying to compose my final letter to Matt and I'm at a loss.  I hope it's not my final letter.

If you care about the sanctity of life and you don't want our government to kill people, please take action.

Thank you.